My mix tape is ruined

I have successfully brought myself to hate some of my favorite songs because it's on the running playlist. At least "Whip My Hair" wasn't high on my playlist to begin with. :)

So I do not love running. I want to. Really! If I could snap my fingers and change two things about myself I would sound like Carrie Underwood and be a track superstar. Oh, and throw in the body of a Desperate Housewife. Ha, none of those are obviously happening anytime soon. The mountain on the property brings out my most desperate side. As soon as I swallow my first bug, or it flies in my nose, or in my ear, or buzzes around my face all bets are off. I get grossed out and can only think about how the disgusting little bug is traveling down into my stomach. Eeww. To make it worse, I've become a spitter. Gross, I know. But those little bugs drive me to the edge. On the way back down there's this little flat spot right before the second gate where I always try to run as hard as I can so until I can't feel my legs...today the gate was closed. Closed! How did that happen! It's always open and had been open when I went through it, but as I came back around the corner and had just forced myself to kick hard the last little bit I see the closed gate. So, after I was wanting to fall over and die from the 85 degree weather and lack of water I have to fight my way through the bushes and mulch to get around the closed gate. Then, I stared at the hill before me to get back to the house...and decided to take the long way around just to avoid the steep hill. I was desperate, like I said. There is nothing attractive about running. Or maybe just I'm not attractive when running. Who created running shorts? They're perhaps the most unfashionable things ever and by the time you're finished they're way up your leg. I look like I'm wearing my bathing suit. Who put those briefs inside shorts? Dumb. I do not love those. So as I run I'm not noticing all the gorgeous weather, the pond, the pretty sky, or even the ducks. I'm dwelling on what a horrible fact of life it is that I can't eat whatever I want, sit in the sun, and read a book while somehow having that produce a super hott body and healthy heart.